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The last time I had sex was: “It depends if you mean with a person or an appliance. “I hooked my Clapper to my vibrator so I could applaud myself into a frenzy.” Does size matter? When was the last time you heard a Chinese woman scream, ‘Oh, Hop Sing, punish me with your huge Komodo dragon!

, the guy who brought us his dad’s blurtings and turned it into a career, and the guys who wrote some great movies talking about their craft, and a bonus: Kevin Heffernan peeing on Steve Lemme’s foot. Here’s the rundown: Sally Field, legend, and her , which Dan directed while J. was distracted by some little project he was working on, something about stars and wars and forces and stuff.

Turned out Chris and Dan’s worlds overlapped from Dan’s time at Revision 3, where he hosted to talk about his ascension from being the guy who started the “Shit My Dad Says” Twitter account to success in TV writing and production.

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With the new year comes new laws from the ministry, to be specific marriage laws. And this time, it's no fun and games until certain someones are dead. Along the way the discover the truth behind his betrayal and uncover secrets of their lost family member. What if the Marauders noticed the strangers attention on Snape? How will he ever get Percy to like him as more than a friend? Other pairings: Steve/Tony, Bruce/Darcy, Loki/Darcy, Loki/Victor Von Doom, Loki/Steve SLASH. How will this change Severus', Lily's and Harry's life? Severus SMLEGilbert sees a boy leaving the school in the middle of the day looking downcast and decides to ditch with him.He expects to be ignored by the pack since his best friend is no longer his in, and worries that Lydia will go back to ignoring him, and that Jackson will go back to sippin' on his haterade, and Derek might actually kill him if he continues to hang around.a James/Severus fic, based in 5th year. He's mine, and he's been mine since the minute I decided he was and I'm tired of him thinking he's not. An accident in an abandoned room with Sirius Black turns his life upside down. Cloud finds that the Keepers is actually kind of the opposite. After years of waiting and planning, equipped with invisibility, advice from England and France from long ago, and years of observing nations, he will make sure every nation will be with who they're meant to be with, as well as gain some confidence for himself, with the help of some of his friends, if needed. Time Travel C/S dom Cloud If you could start your life over, knowing how things could turn out, what would you do differently? Everyone assumes he has left, gone back to the Shire. A blow to the head caused him to lose his memory and he somehow ended up lost inside Erebor.[Cloud/Angeal's Fanclub] [Zack/Cloud] [Angeal/Cloud]Stiles is the human version of a First Beta. Harry/Many - He fought so hard to free them all, he lost everything, and how did they reward him? The last thing Cloud wants, when given the chance, is to do it all over again. Cloud is offered this chance, and tries to change the future, but he quickly discovers that fate and destiny play a high stakes game. Lost and alone, he hides in the deep pathways until a certain pair of dwarven princes happen to find him. Marauders AU: Everyone in the wizarding world has a soul mate, usually only one but some can have two or even three.Warnings: Slash, fem Slash, Mpreg mentions, Violence, Poly Relationships, Bashing - Ginny, Hermione, Dumbledore, Molly. What if there was more to Lord Sebastian Cristea that meets the eye? Rated M for future chapters Legolas is a child of the deep, arcane forest; with the face of a Sinda and the heart of a Silvan, his dream is to become a captain in the king's militia. And since I have extra space I'll say this - WE NEED MORE JAMES/SEVERUS and SIRIUS/SEVERUS. T-TKumajiro notices that Canada has been feeling more lonesome than usual so he starts to form a plan. Read on as Kuma gets into shenanigans and Canada gets friends whether he wants them or not! N/P or P/N I dont really care about the order of names, so if you think it has anything to do with top or bottom..doesnt. That boy is Matthew Williams, the invisible child, walking away to end it all.This is his journey from fantasy to reality, to elven warriorhood and eventually, to unraveling the mystery of his own past, one that will change the course of history. Stiles is heartbroken, obviously, but in a platonic and hetero-lifemate kind of way. Severus Snape is an unusual boy, with unusual life. Cloud's mom makes him go to a Keepers of Honor meeting thinking that it's a club for those who want to protect their virginity after joining the military. What Stiles does know is that something is up with Jackson . Fed up with his life in Asgard, Loki decides to strike out on his own, posing as a mortal. AU, Prucan, FACE family, suicidal themes, human names used Canada has a plan. well, it all starts with the General's coffee machine.

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    Plus, Zach continues to give Christian special treatment by allowing him to participate in a music video Ollie is producing.